Teen Refuses To Let Sister Use Her New Dress For A Date

Sibling Love

Ah, the joy of having siblings. For some, it can be a blessing, and for others, it can be a curse. Sibling rivalry is a common theme. But there are also some siblings that are closer than can be. That, however, is not the case for this Reddit user.
U/Something_Or-Someone is a 17-year-old who has encountered a problem recently. Her problem is with a dress and her older sister, who desperately wants to use it. Let’s see what the problem is.

The Dress

U/Something_Or-Someone had recently bought herself a new dress. It was a dress she had bought with her own hard-earned money. And at this point, it’s the fanciest dress she owns.
The problem is that U/Something_Or-Someone has not had a chance to wear her new dress yet because she hasn’t had the opportunity to do so. It’s so new that it still has its tag on. This is where the disaster begins.

Big Sister

The OP’s older sister is going to the opera house with her boyfriend this weekend, and she is desperate for something to wear. She is scouring the house looking for something that will fit the occasion, and that’s when it hits her.
Her sister just bought a beautiful new dress that she thinks will be perfect for the occasion. This is where the OP’s problem comes in. Is it really such a bad thing for her sister to wear her dress on a date? Apparently, it is.

The Issue

Now, to many of us, this wouldn’t be a problem at all. But it led to a huge fight between U/Something_Or-Someone and her sister. Why would that be? How could a dress ruin a bond between sisters?
The answer is simple. U/Something_Or-Someone says her sister has many fancier dresses. She also has a job which the OP does not. And her biggest problem with this is that she has not personally managed to wear the dress yet.

The Worst Part

The worst part for the OP was when her sister came into her room and tried the dress on despite her clear annoyance with the situation. This is when things really took a turn for the worse.
It was what her sister said after trying the dress on that led to this whole dispute. So what did her sister say to pour fuel on the already raging fire? And how did things end so badly that the OP felt she needed to turn to Reddit?

The Words

That was when the OP’s sister told her that she liked the dress and wanted to wear it. We can only imagine how furious the OP must’ve been when she heard those words leaving her sister’s mouth.
But it was her response to her sister that really inspired the post. Did she say yes and swallow her pride, or did she stand her ground and tell her sister to find another dress?

No

The OP told her sister that she could not wear the dress for a multitude of reasons. This is what she had to say, “I told her no since I personally have not worn it yet, and it is the only fancy dress I own.”
Do you think the sister was happy with the answer she got? Or do you think she made matters worse? In OP’s mind, she just escalated the situation with her response.

Her Response

Instead of being the bigger person and understanding where the OP was coming from, her sister decided to call her a brat and AH for refusing. This is what led to the OP turning to Reddit.
After that, she was unsure of her position and wanted to ask the community if her sister was right. Was she being a brat because she didn’t allow her sister to wear her new dress? Or was her point valid?

A Final Remark

Before asking the community if they thought she was the AH, U/Something_Or-Someone made one final comment. This is what she had to say, “I feel like I could’ve been nicer and just lent her the dress, but still, I got very attached to it and would hate it if my sister had worn it before me, especially since I bought it with my own money.”
She finished off with a last bit of information and said, “She has a job while I do not, so I don’t have any reliable source of income.”

Reddit Responds

Of course, a lot of Redditors have something to say about this situation. Do you think they agreed with the OP or her sister in this situation? Is it really worth destroying a relationship with your sister because of a dress?
Did the sisters’ relationship survive this encounter? Or was it over after the insults? This post has two updates. But let’s have a look at what commenters had to say before the updates.

First Response

The first Redditor to comment on the OP’s post was clearly on her side in this situation. This is what they had to say, “NTA- She’s a grown-up woman and has many other dresses she does not need your NEW dress. Honestly, she sounds like the brat in this situation and not you.”
Their response sounds fair since the OP is quite a bit younger than her sister, and the sister has a job where she does not. Is it really unreasonable for her to want this dress for herself?

What’s Next?

The next Redditor is also on the OP’s side. This is their response, “YOU’RE NOT THE AH…..SHE WAS WRONG FOR EVEN TRYING IT ON……IF SHE WANTED IT BAD, SHE SHOULD’VE BOUGHT IT FROM YOU ….. DO NOT FEEL BAD.”
Would this be a common theme throughout the comments? Or will some of the commenters end up taking the sister’s side on this matter? Let’s look at the update first.

Update

The OP made a quick update where she said, “She quite quickly found something else to wear. She is also now acting like nothing happened, despite me still feeling very upset.”
Is that really the right way for her sister to handle this situation? Shouldn’t she at least apologize for her outburst? The OP made another update after this one, and that one left some Redditors scratching their heads.

Final Update

In her final update, U/Something_Or-Someone said, “We’ve moved past the incident and are all good now. Didn’t talk about it tho.”
This might be a good thing for the OP and her sister, but some Redditors are left questioning her response to all this, especially since she was so upset when she originally wrote the post. Let’s take a look at what they had to say about this.

A Simple Question

The next commentor decided to ask the OP a very simple question: “After she has insulted you, are you okay with this?” What do you think about their question?
Is it right for the OP to just forgive and forget the situation? Or should she be more offended by what her sister has said to her? Is a dress really worth losing one of your closest friends or siblings?

Who’s The Brat?

Even though the previous commenter had a little question for the OP, many of the other Redditors still understood where she was coming from. Let’s take a look at what the next commenter had to say.
“Oh, did someone throw a tantrum when they didn’t get their way? Sounds like they are the brat. NTA.” And they are not the only ones who agree with the OP.

Understanding

The next commenter agrees with the majority, but they also understand where the OP is coming from in her updates. It’s hard not to just forgive a person who is that close to you, even if they act like a brat.
“Yeah, your sister is an a-hole. She wants what she wants, will throw a fit if it helps her get it, and if that doesn’t work, she’ll pretend nothing happened rather than deal with the consequences of her brat behavior. But, she is your sister, hard to deal with that. NTA and try not to be a doormat for her.”

Valid Point

This commenter has a very valid point: “NTA—she’s old enough to go out and buy a dress. Even if she can’t, she can ask her 28-year-old boyfriend.”
If the sister has a job and makes her own money, why doesn’t she just buy her own dress? And if it really is too expensive, there seem to be multiple people she could ask to help her out.

Normal

This commenter probably has some siblings because they decided not to take sides in this situation. Do you think their statement is correct?
“Lol, this is literally a normal sibling interaction. Please improve your social interaction. If it bothers you, then you definitely don’t know how to be a normal human being.”

Boundaries

Ah, the setting of boundaries. Something we are all familiar with. In a sense, this commenter is right. Some people respect boundaries, while others do not. How we deal with them is up to us.
“I have learned that ppl won’t respect boundaries that are non-existent or unclear. That’s a problem you can address. Some ppl won’t respect boundaries at all, and that’s their problem. And they are free to have their little tantrum about it and move on, but you are not required to back down because it’s “not a big deal.” That just sets you up for a lifetime of backing down, and sets them up for a lifetime of getting their way.”

An Apology

This Reddit user shares one of the previous commenters’ opinions. Even though everything is fine now, this incident should still be discussed, and the sister should apologize for her behavior.
“NTA. And you can pretend that all is good, but it’s not. She owes you an apology, but I doubt you will ever get it. How often do you just ignore her poor behavior? You might want to think about that.”

Ours

It is normal for siblings to share many things, especially when they are young. But is this something that should continue into adulthood? Or is there a time when a line needs to be drawn?
“I think that is pretty standard. Sharing is good, but the person who owns it has dibs. That was always the rule at my home. When my brother and I got video games for Christmas, they were de facto ours, but the person who got it had the right to play it first. That rule only ended because we don’t live together anymore, lol.”

Rules

Some siblings might be happy to share everything, but others do not. The commenter above is one of the ones who is willing to share, the next is not.
“Wtfff. My sister and I have an unwritten rule that if the owner of the stuff hasn’t used it yet, like it’s brand new, absolutely no one uses it. We do it even for the smallest things like earrings, cream, or even safety pins. I don’t know if it’s normal in other families, but it works for mine.”

Consequences

There is something else to consider in this situation. It’s something women know all too well. What if the sister ruins the dress by spilling something on it while she is on her date?
“As long as your sister is prepared to buy you another dress if she ruins it somehow (and assumes another one just like it can be bought), I don’t really see the issue. I have a younger sibling who wore my stuff all the time. I didn’t mind. That being said, if it does bother you, no matter the reason, at the end of the day it is your dress and so therefore your call. Maybe get a key lock for your door. Then she wouldn’t be nosing around your closet. This solved a lot of my cousin’s constant fighting and drama when they were younger.”

Unspoken Rule

We all know about the unspoken rules in our societies. Is this one of the unspoken rules amongst women and/or siblings? If it isn’t, should it be?
“NTA – it’s an unspoken rule that the owner of a garment gets to wear it first. So no, sister can find something else to wear.”

Snide Remarks

Is this just a normal sibling rivalry with a few snide remarks tossed around in a fit of anger? Or is there more to this situation than meets the eye?
“NTA, but I wouldn’t worry too much about it since she dropped the idea. Her comments are just basic sister snark, and she’s not really mad just annoyed that she couldn’t take something of yours. My sister was like yours when I was young. She would get mad at me for borrowing her things but then take my stuff all the time and say it was hers, to begin with, or that she was the older sister, so she had a right to borrow my things. And she always called me names. We’re close to 50 now and get along great, although we do live thousands of miles apart.”

Are You Or Are You Not?

This commentor is torn between agreeing with the OP and not. On the one hand, they do agree with what the OP had to say, but on the other… not so much.
“Not the A for not letting her wear it, but the A for still being mad.” Do they have a point? Is it wrong for the OP to get upset with her sister in this situation? Or are her feelings valid?

Revenge?

The next commenter seems to think the sister will be out for revenge after this incident. Are they right? Will she try to ruin OP’s new dress because she didn’t get her way? That’s a difficult scenario, considering that people could go either way.
“Hide the dress anyway. Get a good dress bag with hangers, so she doesn’t accidentally get jelly all over your beautiful dress.”

Guilt

This Redditor commented previously but decided to add another comment after the update. “Saw the update. It probably will go nowhere if you try to get her to acknowledge/discuss her entitlement to your new dress. Personally, when I would expect it to be a waste of breath to think she would actually listen to/hear your point of view (based on her attitude described in the post). However, you are now well-informed about this aspect of her character:”
“She feels entitled to whatever you have that she wants. She will insult and vilify you if you don’t give her what she wants (and you are susceptible to feeling guilty when you don’t cave to her demands). She will not acknowledge any wrongdoing on her part or any imposition on you, nor will she even consider that she has anything she needs to apologize to you for. Seeing that in her will hopefully help you feel less guilty for not letting her impose/grab/demand her wishes on you. Feel comfortable saying ‘no’ as soon as she oversteps and holding firm despite any pressure she applies.”

Own Experience

This user decided to share their own experience with a similar situation. “The last time I loaned someone a dress, they promised to have it dry cleaned before returning it. Although they claimed they did have it professionally cleaned, it is obvious that they washed it to save money. The dress was ruined.”
“Another time, somehow, the clothing ended up with a cigarette burn. The person I loaned it to does not smoke. They also did not offer to replace the dress because THEY didn’t cause the damage. Not their fault, even though the dress would have been fine if it had remained in my closet.”

Last But Not Least

“NTA – being able to buy yourself something nice at the age of 17/when you can start getting yourself nice things feels very special. It feels like a rite of passage cause you’re at the point where you don’t have to ask Mom or Dad all the dang time. You can just buy it or have an easier time strategizing how you’ll get it (save up for it, hours you’ll pick up at work, etc.).”
“I think your sister underestimates how important it is for you to have been able to buy yourself that dress because she didn’t have that connection when she started making her own money.”
References:
r/AmItheAsshole: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/
U/Something_Or-Someone: AITA for not letting my sister wear my dress? : r/AmItheAsshole (reddit.com)
YouTube: JUSTKASS – Me & My SiSTER are in a HUGE FIGHT! *haven’t talked since* (youtube.com)

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