Woman Invented Chaotic Singles Party After Years of Dating App Frustration

• Cassidy Davis threw a house party with 65 men she matched with on dating apps, calling it a “chaotic singles party.”
• The concept was a hit, so Davis keeps hosting at venues in Los Angeles despite meeting her now-boyfriend at her first party.
• The welcoming atmosphere includes ice breaker games and heart tokens for guests to give crushes.

Cassidy Davis spent five years dating single men in Los Angeles and she was sick of it.

On dating apps, Davis said she would match with seemingly compatible magicians, actors, writers, and musicians, but became tired when their in-person connections were lackluster or outright disappointing.

“A dumpster fire is how I would describe it,” Davis, who works as an actor, said. When Valentine’s Day was approaching last year, she decided to delete her dating apps and try something completely different.

She instructed her girlfriends to invite dating app matches they had yet to meet to her apartment for a mixer. Worried no one would show up, Davis invited 65 men she’d matched with on Tinder and Hinge. Davis made a TikTok of the event, which she named “Chaotic Singles Party,” that went viral with 1.7 million likes and over 1,000 comments, many from users who said they wanted to join or throw their own. And after Davis received rave reviews from her own guests (including one who would soon become her boyfriend), she decided to keep throwing the lively parties at venues in various Los Angeles neighborhoods. The concept remains: If you’re attending, use it as an opportunity to invite someone you matched with on an app but is still a stranger.

Davis said that her millennial and gen Z guests, who typically learn about Chaotic Singles Party on TikTok or Instagram, often tell her how refreshing and welcoming the in-person experience feels after years of relying on dating apps to find love. She hosted 17 parties in 2022, mostly in Los Angeles, and wants to expand to five new cities this year as her social media followers from across the country beg her for their own parties, she said.

Davis connected with her now-boyfriend at her first-ever mixer, but she still throws them

When Davis planned her first party, she said she broke her own rule and invited a handsome man she’d met at a bar, not on dating apps. She knew she had a crush on him, but didn’t know if the feelings were mutual, so she hatched a sneaky plan involving a video confessional.

“Everyone, tell us who you’re crushing on,” Davis told her guests after propping up her phone in her bathroom, a makeshift private booth for a confessional-style video she later uploaded to TikTok. In it, she and her now-boyfriend of one year admitted they liked each other.

Even off the market, Davis decided to keep curating the parties for her single friends and social media followers who loved the concept. She said that focusing on her guests, rather than her own search for partnership, has been an unexpected benefit.

“It kind of lets me be everyone’s wing woman and buddy at these events,” Davis told Insider.

Since her first party, Davis has found ways to make the experience more welcoming. She added ice breaker games, like question cards that ask “What’s the worst date you’ve been on?”

Each guest also gets a “gold heart,” a sticker they get to give to their top crush before the night is over.

“And then there’s always that one hot guy covered in gold hearts by the end,” Davis said.

This year, Davis estimated between 250 and 350 singles attended each Chaotic Singles Party. She’s hosted social media influencers and spotted a few contestants from Netflix reality show “The Circle” there too. Ticket prices have ranged from $10 to $85, depending on the specific party.

 

 

Taylor Wong Photography

 

You don’t have to be an extrovert to attend Chaotic Singles Party

Davis said she’s always been outgoing, so she knew a mixer would feel more fulfilling to her than meeting men on dating apps.

But for those who are introverted and worry about fitting in at a huge singles’ mixer, Davis said she’s curated the event to be welcoming for anyone who wants to take a leap of faith to find connections.

She said that one time, a group of single women bought Chaotic Singles Party tickets, thinking they’d make it a mere pit stop on their nights out. But after heading to bars where it was unclear who was looking for new connections, they headed back to Davis’ event for the rest of the night.

“They were like, ‘We missed the energy of the singles party where everyone was open. Everyone was welcoming and even if they weren’t into us, they were gentle and respectful about it.’ Whereas at a regular bar, it’s a lot more cutthroat, a lot more like a jungle,” Davis said.

She said that she’d estimate half of her attendees are self-described introverts who want to push themselves outside of their comfort zones. For nervous first-timers, she suggested treating the event like a social experiment and inviting a cute stranger you matched with on a dating app. Even if you don’t click, your hopeful energy can propel you towards other fun connections, Davis said.

“I feel like really putting yourself out there energetically opens the door to more dating opportunities. Maybe that’s the woo-woo LA girl in me, but I do really believe that. My best advice is to be bold and get our of your comfort zone.”