I’ve had a lot of highs and lows. 15-19, I was huge into fitness- boxing, powerlifting, MMA. Got into an abusive relationship, wasn’t allowed to go to the gym, got super depressed, eating disorders kicked in; I hit my highest weight at 180lbs before I finally left my ex after 6y+.
Started over, learned how to be a person again, and after naturally dropping down to about 150 over a couple of years, I’ve been back in the gym again since November. I’m now planning my first powerlifting meet, and I’m much happier.
If you fell off, and you’re afraid to go back, don’t be. It’s just a chance to watch yourself grow again. It doesn’t matter if you can’t lift as much as before, or if you’ll achieve your arbitrary idea of perfect- you just have to show up. It’s you vs you, the rest is just noise.