Online Dating Safety Tips and Red Flags You Didn’t Know

9. Run a Background Check

An OpinionMatters survey revealed that a staggering 53 percent of online daters fabricate details on their profiles. A background check can provide useful insights about a potential date.

Such checks allow you to confirm the person’s residence, uncover any past arrests, and determine if they’re being truthful about their name, age, or occupation. For a mere $5 monthly subscription, you can access WhitePages, a renowned “people search” service. With your potential date’s phone number, you can authenticate their claims by ascertaining their full name, residential address, and actual age.

8. Get an Alternate Phone Number to Protect Your Identity

During the initial phases of online dating, it’s standard to exchange phone numbers and arrange the date via text or call. However, sharing your number too soon could compromise your privacy and safety due to searchable technology that reveals your full name and residence.

Two viable solutions exist. One, you can maintain communication through the dating platform until after meeting and feeling comfortable to share your number. Two, utilize Google Voice—a free app offering an alternative number for your phone, enabling texting and calling without disclosing your actual number. The app also simplifies the process if you choose to block a number.

7. Meet in a Public Place for the First Date

Make sure your first meeting with a new person occurs in public. If the date goes well, there’s plenty of time to invite your new squeeze over to your place. You’ll know quickly if you feel a sense of trust as well as physical chemistry.

But you are meeting a stranger, after all, so it’s wise to meet in public for the first date. This will make it easier to leave or find help if the date gets uncomfortable or dangerous. This is one of the online dating safety tips that can make a big difference in your safety if anything goes wrong.

6. Don’t Offer Your Full Name Right Away

This is one of the online dating safety tips that a lot of people don’t think about. Avoid giving out your full name until after you’ve met and you feel comfortable doing so.

When someone has your first and last name, it’s easy to learn where you live and work, not to mention all kinds of personal details. Stick to first names only until you’ve built more trust.

5. Drive Yourself to the First Date

Sure, getting picked up for a first date sounds old-fashioned and romantic, but until you better know the other person, think twice before getting in a car with them or letting them know where you live.

Instead, either drive yourself to the date, get a ride from a friend or take public transportation.

4. Go Easy on the Booze

Limit yourself to two drinks on the date: one to settle your nerves, and perhaps a second if you’re having fun.

Staying safe while online dating is about making good choices, and when it comes to alcohol, less is more. This is one of the online dating safety tips that might seem like a bummer, but you don’t want to diminish your ability to trust your instincts or use your brain to get out of a bad situation.

3. Consider Carrying Pepper Spray

Even if you never have to use it, pepper spray can give you peace of mind — and can help you protect yourself if necessary.

Pepper spray is legal in most states, but check your individual state’s requirements to know what varieties you’re allowed to have.

2. Use the Buddy System

Before the first date, let a friend know the name and location of your meet-up spot, and agree to a check-in time to make sure you’re safe.

In the worst-case scenario, your friend will know when to worry and where to look for you. The chances are low of anything bad happening — apart from learning that he’s two inches shorter and 20 pounds heavier than his profile says. However, this is one of the online dating safety tips you should always use just in case you need help.

1. Trust Your Instincts

When it comes to dating, you know yourself better than anyone. So trust your instincts — that little voice inside of you. Your gut rarely steers you wrong.

If you feel like anything seems off, it’s better to be safe than sorry. This is one of the most online dating tips because your instincts can sense danger before you might see obvious signs of it.

8 Red Flags to Be Aware

Part of staying safe when online dating is watching out for red flags. Even if you’ve followed all the previously mentioned online dating safety tips, you might still encounter red flags. Here are eight online dating red flags to watch out for.

8. Copy-and-Paste Openers

This is one of the online dating red flags that doesn’t seem suspicious, but be careful with this one. You can tell if someone spent a minute crafting an opening line to catch your attention — something specific and flirty, like, “Bonjour. I see you love Paris. Where are you jetting off to next, world traveler?”

But using a cookie-cutter opening line — “You are gorgeous! How’s your day?” — likely means they’re mass-messaging an all-purpose opener and didn’t even bother reading your profile. While that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are dangerous, this online dating red flag shows that they may not be that interested in getting to know you as a person.

7. Sending Women Pics of Their Junk

This one is self-explanatory. Men still do this!

A related (if less offensive) online dating red flag: too much sexual innuendo too soon.

6. Going Quiet/Texting at Weird Hours

If you you’ve been messaging and they go quiet for a day or two, only to text you again at 3:45 am, watch out. This is one of the online dating red flags you should be aware of.

This sporadic messaging might be because they’re in a relationship and unable to message you at normal times. Remember: half of online daters are already in a relationship, so be cautious.

5. Messaging You Repeatedly When You Don’t Reply Right Away

Beware of over-eager texting, which is a sign of severe neediness and another of the biggest online dating red flags.

You don’t reply right away and your phone suddenly blows up like this: “Did you get my messages?”, “Are you there?”, “Did you lose your phone?”, “Are you blowing me off?” While maybe not one of the online dating safety tips to follow, avoiding these kinds of people can help you avoid needy, demanding people who aren’t that interested in a long, fulfilling relationship.

4. There’s Only One Profile Photo

…and it shows a near-perfect physical specimen. Odds are, this is a fake online-dating profile, making just one profile photo one of the biggest online dating red flags.

Also, when little or nothing is written in the description, it’s probably a scam. Real online daters upload several photos and put effort into the “about me” section. People who want meaningful relationships and will support you in following online dating safety tips want to put detail in their profile to give themselves a better chance at starting a real relationship.

3. They Warn “No Drama or Playing Games”

Watch out for anyone (mostly men seeking women) who writes “no drama” or “not a game player” on their profile. Besides being useless, soul-crushing clichés, these phrases suggest that he’s projecting — he’s all about drama and game-playing.

Also, notice phrases like “I need” or “I won’t tolerate,” along with frequent use of “can’t” or “won’t.” These are signs of someone who in real life is negative at best or possessive at worst, making these kinds of phrases big online dating red flags to watch out for.

2. Ivy League Degree but no Job

If they say they went to, say, Harvard, yet have no job, they’re lying about one of those two assertions. (Hmm, wonder which one.)

While not having a job isn’t necessarily one of the online dating red flag (layoffs, temporary unemployment and disability can happen to anyone) claiming a prestigious education with no proof is suspicious.

1. They Ask for Money

Scammers create fake profiles on both free sites but also some of the biggest online dating apps. Their goal? To build trust and an apparent connection, then ask you for money by claiming there’s a medical or travel emergency.

Online dating can be a wonderful way to meet people and you can have many great first dates (and maybe second dates if you don’t say one of the things you should never say on a first date), so don’t let the danger scare you away from potentially find a connection. Just follow these online dating safety tips, avoid the online dating red flags.