I’m a Doula — Things I Wish Every Pregnant Person Knew

• Miranda Levy is a doula who helps support clients during their pregnancy and postpartum.
• She wishes all pregnant people knew how to better advocate for themselves when it comes to birth.
• There are misconceptions about birth Levy wishes people knew. Here’s their story, as told to Erin McDowell.

This story is based on a conversation with Miranda Levy, a doula and infant-feeding specialist who supports clients in the New York City area. It has been edited for length and clarity.

As a birth doula, I have a passion for empowering and protecting the birth process and beyond for each of my clients.

After experiencing firsthand the lack of individualized care in the healthcare system, I made it my goal to educate, support, and advocate for those going through the deeply personal and transitional process that is birth. I’m always there to answer questions, help you ask questions to your provider, and provide whatever support is needed during pregnancy, while in labor, and after the baby is born. When it comes to postpartum care, I strive for my client’s postpartum period to be a time to heal, bond, and transition into parenthood with minimal distraction.

Part of being a doula is also to help educate my clients about the birth process and hopefully relieve some fear and anxiety about what happens before, during, and after giving birth. Here are things I wish all pregnant people knew.

You have the freedom to switch providers if you come across an issue

It’s your birth. Even if you don’t feel like you have adequate options for how or when giving birth will take place for you, you can always try to switch providers. I’m a huge proponent of switching providers at any point in pregnancy if it’s not working for you, whether that be for political reasons, personal reasons, or otherwise.

A provider is seeing you at your most vulnerable, so creating a protected space is so important. You might not end up with a different provider or the person you really wanted, but it never hurts to look into it if you’re coming across some roadblocks. Trust your intuition. You deserve to feel comfortable and safe.

Providers more often than not are focused on giving you the best medical advice possible, so it’s also helpful to have someone like a doula around you.

Ask your provider as many questions as you can

In order to advocate for yourself during pregnancy, you should ask your provider as many thought-out questions as possible. The more you know about your provider’s policies, where they stand on things like C-sections or inductions, the fewer surprises you might have to deal with when you’re about to have a baby. Ask those questions early on.

When consenting to medical decisions or making your birth plan, use the ‘BRAIN’ acronym

A lot of birth doulas use the “BRAIN” acronym to help clients make informed decisions about their birth — that is, what are the benefits, risks, alternatives, intuition, and what will happen if you do nothing? That’s sometimes an option. It’s usually a good idea to go over those points with your provider when interventions are brought up.

Take a childbirth class

 

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I believe everyone should take at least one childbirth education class. Most hospitals offer them, but it can also be beneficial to take one outside the hospital structure so you can get a well-rounded view of what your birth could look like. It’s about knowing what you’re walking into. For example, knowing about Pitocin — a medication used to induce labor — before it’s given to you in the hospital.

Due dates aren’t always reliable for knowing when you’ll give birth

As doulas, we go on call for birth support at 37 weeks, two weeks before a “full term” due date, and two weeks after, up until 41 weeks. Usually, with a first baby, you’ll probably be a little bit past your due date when you give birth — that doesn’t apply to everyone, obviously, but it does happen a lot. It usually varies between two weeks before and after your due date. That’s a month of variable time.

It’s normal to have fears surrounding pregnancy and birth

I’ve worked with clients who have anxiety disorders but also clients who just have fear surrounding birth, whether that’s about complications, pain during birth, or other reasons. For a majority of my clients, it was also their first baby, so there’s some fear there as well. They don’t know what to expect.

One of the things I recommend to my clients is to write down their fears, lay it all out on the table, and then we can talk through it. We can then see what we can do to address fears and how, depending on how the pregnancy progresses, that might affect the birth plan or birth vision and how we can navigate those changes.

Certain items might make giving birth more comfortable

I always recommend bringing something that smells like your home if you choose to give birth in a hospital. Since hospital rooms can feel quite sterile, having something from home can make you more relaxed and comfortable.

Bring a change of clothes and layers — hospital rooms can be chilly but, as a birthing person, you might start feeling hot suddenly. They usually have heating packs at the hospital, but you can bring a heating pad from home as well. Other people like to bring a birth ball, essential oil diffusers, electric candles, a speaker for music, an eye mask, and other things that all help to make you more comfortable.

Birth is often not depicted accurately in movies or television shows

 

New Line Cinema/HBO Max

For some people, the only time they’ve witnessed “birth” is in a movie or on television, and this usually isn’t an accurate representation. For example, it’s not that common for your water breaking to be the first sign of labor, as it’s often depicted in Hollywood. By that time, you’re usually somewhat in labor. It probably won’t be like in “Sex and the City” where you’re out shopping, get really upset, and all of a sudden your amniotic fluid is everywhere and you’re in active labor.

Every person’s birth experience can, and likely will, be different

Whether you give birth at home, in a hospital, or somewhere else, every birth can come with possible complications or challenges. It’s important to know that when it comes to the medical-industrial complex and birth, things are hard right now in the United States. Maternal mortality rates are rising, C-section rates are rising — it’s important to know these statistics so you can hopefully prepare yourself.

It’s also important to know how challenges may affect you depending on your race, background, or how you identify. Birth experiences unfortunately are likely going to be difficult for a Black woman compared to a white woman, compared to a trans man. It’s important to find a good support system, to have an understanding of the hospital structure, and to do your research.