Saying Crazy Things
There’s no doubt that people’s reactions after a surgical procedure are some of the funniest things you’ve ever heard. Anesthesia usually causes people to say crazy things because it has such strong effects.
According to Redditors, these are some of the most memorable, bizarre, and endearing things that people have said while under the influence of anesthesia.
Hold My Hand
I had an ovarian cyst removed a year ago and woke up from the anesthesia saying ‘hand…hand please.’ and making ‘grabby hands’ with both my hands until the nurses finally came over and held my hands for about five minutes while I just smiled and tried to go back to sleep.
I hadn’t done that in a decade. I used to do it to my dad all the time as a kid to express that I wanted to hold his hand while I slept.
I recently had surgery for endometriosis, and I did the exact same thing. The nurses nicely held my hand before setting it back on the bed once I calmed down. Apparently, this lasted for 15-20 minutes until I realized they had tucked the stuffed animal I brought under my arm and that I could hold it instead.
They put bandages on it in the same place I had them. I’m 24, but because of covid, I had to be alone, and a stuffed animal was the best I could do. The rabbit
I’m an anesthesiologist. The best story was about a 40-some-year-old woman for appendectomy, said while I’m giving the propofol to induce anesthesia. She said, “oh, I don’t remember it tasting like that before” (slurred). I said, “what does it taste like?” since propofol doesn’t usually elicit a taste reaction.
She almost yelled, “my husband’s cooking,” and was promptly under anesthesia thereafter. There have been other stories, but this one has the entire OR staff rolling and laughing for minutes after she was under.
My aunt got rushed to the hospital for abnormal heart rate – but it wasn’t a heart attack or stroke, but her heart was going at like 200 beats per minute or whatever it was. They had to put her under so they could shock her heart back to normal. As they’re taking her under, the doctor says something like, “Okay, in it goes,” and she immediately quips, “That’s what she said”
All the doctors and nurses busted a gut laughing and told my uncle when he got there. He just shrugged and said, “That’s my wife for ya.”
I woke up from gallbladder surgery confused as to why my mom wasn’t there (I was 18 and looking for my mom). The nurse informed me I had cussed out my entire family, and they sent them home and put me on a no visitor list, only for me to wake up at 2 am with no memory of making them call my mom back. Another time I woke up and made horrifically inappropriate jokes.
I told a nurse she was pissing me off because I didn’t like the automatic blood pressure cuff. I refused to listen to follow-up orders until I had a chicken sandwich (my negotiations were not met). I’m a real treat after anesthesia, but I get a lot of this done at the office my mom works at, so she can warn them, lol.
A Different Man
One summer, I was home from college, and my dad needed me to pick him up after his very first colonoscopy. He was nervous, so I got there early. The nurse called me back and asked me to help wake him up, as they were having some trouble.
I go back and am making chit-chat. “Oh, Dad, you’ve got those cool booties on!” He raised his head a little bit to look at them, then yelled, “Booty call!” He is a Presbyterian pastor. A moment I will treasure forever.
One time I, a male biology student in his early 20’s with a stuck kidney stone, was being put under for surgery: Just as the anesthesiologist was pushing meds and telling me to count back from 100, I looked up at him in a drugged but focused gaze and said “You’re so pretty.. you could be in movies” then blackness.
The anesthesiologist was like a grizzled 70-year-old hunched-back looking guy with a lopsided grimace and more ear-hair than head-hair (great doc, though). The last thing I remember hearing was the OR nurses cracking up laughing.
My husband had to undergo a colonoscopy, and when he came around, he started aggressively grilling the staff about Abraham Lincoln. That’s where it gets really fun because I don’t know why he thought of Abraham Lincoln.
He isn’t a historian or anything. He works as a business analyst and knows next to nothing about Abraham Lincoln.
What Could It Mean?
I have no recollection of this, but according to my mom, when she met me in the recovery room after wisdom tooth extraction, I was very eager to tell her something, but my mouth was full of gauze.
So they gave me a pen, and I wrote something on the surgical bib. Hours later, when I was back in reality, she asked me, “what was with the meow meows, my son?”
My personal story. When I had my wisdom teeth out, I kept holding a fake camera up to my face saying “you’re beautiful” and making clicking noises while I was under.
I’m a professional photographer, and my dental surgeon ended up booking a session with me a year later. It was weird to get a call from him, but the business was appreciated.
“Living Another Man’s Life.”
I had a guy (nefarious character, heavy drug use history) who got a bunch of ketamine (probably too much) in recovery from one of the other docs to help with severe pain after his abscess drainage. I was asked to check on him in an hour as the other doc had left for the evening. I went over and saw him in the K hole drooling on himself but otherwise fine, so I left and came back an hour later.
The first thing he says to me is, “why did you do that to me?”. I asked him what he meant, and he said, “you don’t understand. I lived another man’s life in there!”
“Playing At 10 Times The Speed.”
Patient here. I came out of anesthesia and heard Gotye’s “somebody that I used to know” playing in the recovery room. But it sounded something very different in my state.
I asked my significant other why they were playing it at like 10x the normal speed, and the nurse just went, “ok, so she’s not ready to go home yet.”
How about the other way around? I took my mom for her surgery on her right shoulder, and her anesthesiologist was this very dignified, solemn older Persian gentleman.
My mom told him, “Just so you know. I wrote directions on myself to make sure you get it right!” He looked her straight in the eye and said deadpan, “Great. So let’s get started on your left knee.”
I once came out of anesthesia after an endoscopy, which can cause you to burp pretty much the whole day, and my fiancée asked, “How’re you doing?” I misheard and answered as though she said, “What are you doing?”
My answer was “Little burps,” I said very confidently. I also started crying on the way home because I wanted one egg. I never crave eggs.