Hoping For The Best
She had liked him for some time now and wanted to know if there was ever a chance for them to be together. She wasn’t successful with her first attempt two years ago, so she prayed it would be different this time.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes before she sent the message. It was beyond her control now. There was no way for her to ever prepare for what was coming.
Erin Anderson was three years old when she discovered she was living in the wrong body. Her name was Aaron then, and she loved dresses more than toy cars and action figures.
Like any average teenager, the Owensboro, Kentucky native liked a boy on Facebook. She messaged him, telling him that she thought he was cute. His reply shocked her.
Jared Norris’ answer to Erin’s advances was a clear-cut rejection. Although he had been polite in his response, it wrecked Erin deeply.
He made it clear that he wasn’t interested in Erin. Of course, Erin was still Aaron at the time. Broken and feeling trapped in a body that wasn’t hers, Erin set out to make everything right.
Picking Herself Up
Erin scoured the internet for information about transitioning into a woman. It was about time she took her life into her own hands.
She found a reputable program and enrolled. She would do everything in her power to become the person she was always meant to be. But such procedures always come with a complication.
Erin was supposed to undergo two procedures that were crucial to her transition. The first was an augmentation surgery, which she underwent immediately.
The surgery was accompanied by hormone replacement therapy, which spread across two years. Erin wanted to break out of this prison, but she didn’t have two years to spare. She was heartbroken.
She filled her family in on her dilemma. They advised her to go through with the therapy, even if it took a decade. If she saw transitioning as worth it, they would stand with her as she made the needed sacrifices to see it through.
Erin took her family’s reassurance and began her two-year-long hormone replacement journey. But halfway through, she realized she had made a mistake.
Doubts Set In
Erin’s body was positively responding to the hormone therapy. But she felt like she hadn’t thoroughly thought about this. She was going to be a woman now. Her life would be different forever.
She closed her eyes and thought, remembering past years wishing she was a woman. Her lips curled, and she let out a deep sigh. She was doing the right thing for her, but there was still another glaring problem.
No Going Back Now
She would need more surgery to transition fully. Gender reassignment, which was next on her list, was quite expensive.
Erin called her family to share her worries. At such a momentous time in her life, she needed all the love and support she could get. Her family reassured her of her decision. They were there for her if she needed anything. Did she still want to continue with her transition?
The final year of Erin’s hormone replacement therapy passed. She came out of the treatment a new person, happy in the body she was walking in.
Elated with the success of her transition, Erin took to Instagram to share her look with the world. She uploaded a photo of herself, and many people came to celebrate with her. Amid the many likes she got, one single person grabbed her interest.
Erin didn’t think it was real. Jared liked her picture. The same feelings that had set her heart ablaze two years before returned with a vengeance.
Erin still wanted Jared. She quickly wrote down a message, including her number at the end. Jared had rejected her once, and it almost broke her. Hoping this time would be different, Erin pressed send.
Erin’s phone pinged within five minutes. She jumped to it, finding a message that sent a wave of searing heat up her spine.
Jared wanted to meet her. Seeing that her birthday was the next day, Erin set a date for that day. She met Jared, and they had a wonderful time. Afterward, Jared disclosed something that made Erin’s jaw drop.
Jared shared that he loved how Erin was free to be herself. He enjoyed spending time with her and would love to do it again.
Jared and Erin spent the week getting to know each other. By Friday evening, they were an item on Facebook. Erin could not believe it. Little did she know that dating Jared brought its set of problems.
Us Against The World
Before dating Jared, Erin had gone out with a few people. Although she liked them, none of them ever introduced her to their friends or family as trans, which was hurtful.
Everything was different with Jared. He introduced Erin as his trans girlfriend. He was proud to call her his. But his courage resulted in another issue.
Erin and Jared’s relationship was attracting the wrong crowd. The couple received death threats over their relationship. These messages made Erin feel like she was not woman enough.
But in this sea of vile and hateful messages were words of encouragement that helped the couple power through the hate. Amid all this drama, Jared did the unthinkable.
A Perfect Match
“I love you,” Jared confessed one rainy afternoon. “No matter what the world thinks. You are willing to put yourself out there, to be yourself. You are perfect in my eyes, and nothing will ever change that.”
This declaration shook Erin, showing her life was finally perfect. Erin had Jared by her side and the love of her family and friends. But her story isn’t the only one.
Across the pond, a lad named Mike faced the same problems Erin had faced as a child. Born Michael Carver, Mike had always felt like he was in the wrong body.
But his journey was a different one from Erin’s. Although he’d successfully transitioned into a woman, he’d regret it deeply, resulting in his pursuit against time to revert to being a man.
Living In London
Mike was born to a lower-middle-class family in East Finchley, London. His died passed away when he was five, and his mom soon followed two years later.
As such, Mike grew up with his big sister, Kerry, who was already an adult and working. He expected his life to be as ordinary as it had always been when he was younger, but it would only get more confusing.
Growing Up Fast
Unlike Erin, who knew she was different from when she was a kid, Mike found out on the onset of puberty. He had always loved the occasional doll house or two and enjoyed hanging out with girls.
But his feminine side didn’t take over his masculine side at all, which made everything more confusing. He didn’t know what to make of the changes in his body and mind. He needed help.
Boys VS Girls
Mike’s body was quickly changing. As a kid, he thought that the only thing separating boys from girls was how they dressed.
But now that puberty was here, it was clear that there was more to it than he initially perceived. That alone made him realize that he needed many things to come to terms with. But who could he open up to?
Times Are Changing
Mike’s sister, Kerry, loved her little brother very much. They always talked about everything, spending hours watching tv over the weekend as they opened up to each other.
But now that her little brother was turning into a man, he seemed more distant from her. She didn’t know how to approach him and was worried because she could see something was wrong with him.
I Am Alone
Mike couldn’t open up to her sister about what was going on in his battered mind. He feared she might treat him differently or even kick him out of the house.
Given how little his friends and acquaintances knew about the confusion roiling within him, he turned to the only place he could. The internet.
Kerry saw her little brother devolve into a shell of his former self as the years went by. She was more worried because Mike had been diagnosed with depression. It seems the recent years, coupled with their mom’s death, had done a number on him.
Mike was nineteen, and Kerry could see how much time he spent on the house computer. She decided to spy on him. What she found in his search history broke his heart.
I Need Help
Kerry discovered that her little brother was searching for forums for people who felt trapped in their bodies. At first, she thought he wanted to hurt himself, but after a close analysis, she understood the root of his problem.
Mike was looking for information that would tell him he was not alone in the world. He felt trapped in a man’s body. But that wasn’t the scariest part.
The Online Community
Mike had found a community online that had convinced him he was trans. They encouraged him to undergo transition, even detailing the programs he could take.
Alarmed, Kerry confronted Mike about what she’d discovered. She hated that she’d violated his privacy like this, but that was the least of her problems. She didn’t believe what Mike would tell her.
He Spills Everything
Mike finally opened up to her sister. He explained everything, his struggles through teenagehood and his battles with depression and anxiety. Kerry could taste the pain in his words and couldn’t believe she’d missed all this.
But she also saw how hopeful her little brother was when talking about transitioning. She could see that he had made up his mind on the matter. But could she stop him?
Kerry was riddled with guilt for letting her little brother suffer through this alone. She had promised their mom she’d watch out for him on her deathbed and failed. When Mike started the transitioning program, she did little to stop him.
If this made him happy, she would stand by him. But although Mike was happier in the transition program, Kerry realized something was wrong.
It had been eighteen months since Mike began his transition into a woman. He had been taking hormone pills and had surgeries lined up. But Kerry found out that he was stalling the surgeries.
When she confronted him about it, Mike revealed that he had second thoughts about fully transitioning. He also revealed that the program was pressuring him to undergo surgery or it would kick him out. So why couldn’t he leave?
The Therapy Sessions
Mike shared that he was receiving therapy sessions as part of the transitioning program. He revealed that those sessions were the only reason he was still in the program, as they had helped him a lot.
Kerry suggested they leave the program and find a therapist who would serve the same purpose, but even she knew they couldn’t afford it. She was still trying to consolidate her funds for a therapist when Mike did the unexpected.
A Massive Mistake
Mike moved ahead with the surgeries, fully transitioning into a woman named Maliah. But even she could tell that it was a massive mistake. “As they wheeled me into the operating room, the only thing I could ask myself was, ‘Oh God, what have I done?” she shared.
She started her reverse procedures almost immediately after healing from the previous ones. But she was quick to learn that some things are irreversible.
As it stands, Maliah, with the help of Kerry, is fighting to have her old life back. She identifies as trans but has stated that the procedures have left her with many physical and mental problems.
She says that the program she participated in pressured her into transitioning without considering her mental past. She hopes her story can be a lesson to other people looking to transition. “Think twice and make sure it’s what you want,” she maintains. “Not everything that glitters is gold.”
Disclaimer: To protect the privacy of those depicted, some names, locations, and identifying characteristics have been changed and are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblances to actual events, places, or persons, living or dead, are entirely coincidental.